Kidnapping Kpop

Kidnapping Plan #3: English Tutor

Location: Company building

Requirements:

-Native English speaker

-Duct tape

Plan:

First, you (or your native English speaker) will approach your desired victim’s company (SM, JYP, etc). You will request to see the boss as your have a proposal for him.

This may take a few visits before he will agree to see you. When he finally allows you to deliver your proposal, you will tell him that you are an English teacher, hoping to help those poor souls (like Soohyun) who try to sing English and just can’t.

You are willing to work for free because you believe it will help their profits in English speaking countries if the words are spoken correctly. He will be like:

And he will give you the job. Your next move is to suggest the group you would like to start with. Try not to do this:

You have to pick one. Theoretically, he will assign you to that group. You must now select your target. The group may be a little offended when you tell them you are here to teach them how to bloody speak properly.

Figure out how best to calm them down so they will begin to like and trust you.

You get them alone for the lesson, duct tape them up, and drag them away.

Enjoy but be sure to return them so the kpop supply is not cut off. If you fail to do so…

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Kidnapping Plan #2: Signing Event

Location: Any signing event

Requirements:

-Roofies

-Target’s favorite beverage (bottled)

- Accomplice

-Nondescript van

-Something to sign

The first step is to do some research on your desired target’s favorite drink.

This can be done by looking at Wikipedia, watching variety shows, and examining the idol’s social networking sites. Ensure you are able to purchase the beverage in bottled form. Next step is to simply wait until a signing event comes around. When it does, attend.

Before you leave to the event, invest in a small amount of roofies. Pour this into the drink and mix well.

When you reach the table where the signing is taking place, offer him the drink.

He will smile politely and take the drink. Now, you wait. When he finally drinks it, he will pass out. Thanks to his idol status, all hell will break loose. Ambulances will be called, everyone will be running in circles and screaming.

At this point, you will locate your target’s manager and bludgeon them so that they are also unconscious.

Relocate the manager to a closet while everyone is still freaking out and not paying attention. When the ambulence arrives, pose as your victim’s manager and ride with him in the ambulance. When the ambulance has driven away from the mass of screaming fans, tell the paramedics that you’ve just remembered your idol had forgotten his medication in the van.

This is the cause for his sudden fainting spell. You ask the driver to pull over at the unmarked van on the side of the road.

Have them help you carry the idol to the van, close the door, thank them, and enjoy your idol.

2 notes

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Kidnapping Plan #1: Crossdress

Inspired by: To The Beautiful You

Location: Boys’ School Drama Set

Requirements:

-Girl
-Subway ticket
-Chest Band unless you’re Admin Lay
-Surgery if you have a round butt like Admin Jjong
- Boy clothes
-Short hair
-Victim
-Fake ID
-Van

Plan:
Preferably with an accomplice, you must successfully infiltrate a drama set as an extra in the drama. First, you must find the filming location of the drama, which is usually located in the idol’s schedule, posted in their company’s website.

Then, hop on the subway with your accomplice, thoroughly disguised as a boy so that no one can recognize you.

NO TRYOUTS NECESSARY. Casually insert yourself into the group of the extras. Find out which extras will be filming nearest to your target, follow them, threaten them if necessary, oh which reminds me, bring a small weapon.

After finding location of target, inform him that there has been a change in their schedule and that their manager is waiting for him and that you will show him to the vehicle. By this point, your accomplice ought to be waiting in an unmarked, yet nondescript, van.